Rainin' Sideways: God's Team

Sarah Palin, the Republican VPILF, has said that both the Iraq War and an Alaskan pipeline are the will of God. But she has so far missed another clear sign from the Almighty: Rainin' Sideways is a team of destiny.

You may be thinking right now, "Come on, God really couldn't care less about a stupid kickball team." Well, one, you're going to Hell, you nonbeliever, and two, consider these facts:

1. Since the Rainin' Sideways season began, two hurricanes have made landfall in the United States. One of the defining characteristics of a hurricane is sideways rain.
   
2. The second of those two said hurricanes, Hurricane Kyle, struck the state of Maine, which used to be part of Massachusetts. According to a meteorologist who spoke on the condition of anonymity, Kyle was jealous that Rainin' Sideways gets to strike Massachusetts on a weekly basis.
   
3. Despite all this rain, East Cambridge has been rain-free every game night this season. This is God's way of telling the other teams, "You're already getting all the rain you can handle."
   

Does the destiny of Rainin' Sideways mean that the team won't have to practice as hard, focus as much or drink as heavily to continue its success? No, for practice, focus and drinking are all virtues that aid kickballers not only on the field, but in everyday life.

But it's nice to know that Rainin' Sideways always has a fan looking down from above, holding a sign that says "make it rain," adorned with a picture of an African-American cartoon weatherman offering a dog up for adoption.

Ollies Bring the Rain to ALKA

Raining Sideways continued their winning ways on Thursday against the upstart A Little Kick Action (ALKA). The Ollies’ fans enjoyed a slugfest as both teams came with the desire to win.

The scoring started early as each club managed to plate a pair of runs in the first inning. Kevin booted his second homerun of the young season, a two run blast that brought the crowd to their feet.

The Ollies’ defense struggled in the second inning, though, allowing four runs to give A Little Kick Action a comfortable lead.

However, Raining Sideways’ offense turned on in the second inning, scoring five runs to capture a slim lead they would build off of for the rest of the game.

The rest of the offense would come in the next inning when Pete clubbed a three run homer, his first of the season.

“It felt good coming off my toes,” Pete said. “I knew I had a chance before I even made it to first base.”

“It’s a beautiful thing when you get production from all corners of your lineup,” gushed Captain Big. “With this kind of performance, we can’t help feeling strong right now.”

Despite its early inning struggles, the Ollies’ defense also had a number of bright moments.

BK and Kevin each had overhead snags that dropped jaws. Big made a diving catch on the infield. Ashley brought down a hard hit linedrive and winged it to first for the out. And finally, Jaimie made her first out of her young kickball career with an impressive catch out in right field.

“As great as it is to have a high-scoring offense, the defense still needs to come to play,” said BK. “They also need to be able to stay focused in the face of adversity. They did that today and I’m damn proud of them!”

The final score of ten to six was misleading, however, as both teams played strong throughout the game. The post-game flip cup was equally competitive as the green and gray teams got their drink on.

“It was a good night,” slurred Big. “Allez Ollies!”

Ollies Slide Past Third Basers

Raining Sideways came from behind on Thursday to pull past the underrated Third Base is Overrated to take their second victory of the young Fall 2008 MA Recess season.

The Ollies once again had a strong showing on their sideline where they rocked their moustaches proudly.

The Ollies gave themselves some work to do in the top of the first when they allowed three Third Base runs to cross the plate before they could retire the side. However, Raining Sideways never let up as the offense immediately took a run back in the bottom of the inning.

Settled in, the Raining Sideways defense hunkered down and frustrated the Third Base offense in the second inning with a near six-four-three double play and heads up play by everyone.

The defense’s efforts were rewarded in the bottom of the second inning as the middle of the order combined for five runs to take the lead. The rally was sparked by game MVP Kevin who kicked the Ollies’ first homerun of the season. Ashley, Catie and Amy then recorded another four RBIs to put their own stamps on the stat book

The third inning saw the defense put up another goose egg with key plays by Kevin in the outfield and Kern at second base, managing to punish runners who overran second base.

Third Base didn’t give up, however, as they blanked the Ollies in the fourth inning. They then gave the Raining Sideways boosters something to worry about in the top of the fifth as they managed to put runners on. However, a diving stop by Eric and a fantastic eyes-closed catch by right-fielder Catie staunched the bleeding before any runs could score.

The bottom of the fourth inning saw another offensive breakthrough as BK, Kevin and Kern all added to the Ollies’ lead, bringing the team’s total up to 10 runs.

“We feel strong,” coughed Captain Big as he continued trying to clear his trachea of errant mustache. “We’ve adapted well to the league’s great fields. And I’m seeing good things from both ends of our lineup. I can’t wait for next week!”

The mustachioed kickballers were exultant after another strong performance. Morale is high as Raining Sideways continues its campaign for WAKA glory.

Raining Sideways issue a letter of intent

Raining Sideways, the new kids on the block in the MA Recess division, started off their season right with a tight victory over the incumbent Ball Monitors on Wednesday.

Scoring a quick three runs in the first inning, the Ollies surprised their opponents with smart at-bats, opportunistic base running and an incredibly loud bench.

On his team’s volume, Captain Big was jubilant. “I love my team. If we’re known for one thing around the league, I want it to be our enthusiasm and straight-up excitement to be out there playing kickball fer cryin’ out loud!”

Solid defense in the bottom half of the first inning on the over-sized field and another run by Kevin (kicked in by Ashley) gave the Ollies a 4-nil lead after one and a half.

Big struggled with the meat of the Monitors’ lineup in the bottom of the second, however, allowing three runs that made Raining Sideways’ lead a little less comfortable.

The third inning, however, saw the Ollies tack on another run that also came with a scare when two Raining Sideways runners collided at home plate, sending Chris ass over teakettle* into foul territory, but safe. For surviving the impact and having the presence of mind not to crack his head on the light pole, Chris was awarded the inaugural Raining Sideways Game MVP Cup ™.

Despite an unfortunate misunderstanding over one of WAKA kickball’s most basic rules, the rest game went smoothly and without (physical) injury.

The fifth inning saw the Monitors make a spirited comeback with runners on and a run in after Big confused the number of outs remaining. However, the Ollies’ defense was able to eventually able to put the Monitors to bed and make the trek to the bar.

“What kind of soup, Ollies!?” co-captain Asian was heard shouting from a teammate's car. The resounding answer is one that will, for now, also represent Raining Sideways intentions for this fall season:

Chunky.



* "ass over teakettle"(tm) used courtesy of BK

Raining Sideways Fall 2008 Schedule

Click to enlarge.

NOTE: Week 4's rained-out game will be tacked on at the end of the regular season, likely pushing back the playoffs a week.

The WAKA Strike Zone

The more you know... And knowing is half the battle

Extra Base Rule

The Summer Patriot Division is officially instituting the "Extra Base" rule in order to prevent any (further) injuries as players run for first base. The rule is laid out below. Along with a lovely Paint picture made by me.

WAKA Official Rule Revision 1/2008

1.06 - Optional Extra Base
a. Fielders trying to make an out on first base must touch the base to the inside of the cone (first base). Runners hindered by a fielder touching the Extra Base will be safe.

b. Runners not attempting to advance to second base and touching the first base will be out.

c. If no fielder is on first base, and/or the runner is attempting to advance to second base, the runner may touch first base.

d. The Extra Base is only available for runners traveling from home plate.

e. Once a runner has reached first base safely the runner may not stand on or touch the Extra Base. Any runner doing so will be out.

f. No additional base may be used at any other base.

The Reason for the Season