Sarah Palin, the Republican VPILF, has said that both the Iraq War and an Alaskan pipeline are the will of God. But she has so far missed another clear sign from the Almighty: Rainin' Sideways is a team of destiny.
You may be thinking right now, "Come on, God really couldn't care less about a stupid kickball team." Well, one, you're going to Hell, you nonbeliever, and two, consider these facts:
- Since the Rainin' Sideways season began, two hurricanes have made landfall in the United States. One of the defining characteristics of a hurricane is sideways rain.
- The second of those two said hurricanes, Hurricane Kyle, struck the state of Maine, which used to be part of Massachusetts. According to a meteorologist who spoke on the condition of anonymity, Kyle was jealous that Rainin' Sideways gets to strike Massachusetts on a weekly basis.
- Despite all this rain, East Cambridge has been rain-free every game night this season. This is God's way of telling the other teams, "You're already getting all the rain you can handle."
Does the destiny of Rainin' Sideways mean that the team won't have to practice as hard, focus as much or drink as heavily to continue its success? No, for practice, focus and drinking are all virtues that aid kickballers not only on the field, but in everyday life.
But it's nice to know that Rainin' Sideways always has a fan looking down from above, holding a sign that says "make it rain," adorned with a picture of an African-American cartoon weatherman offering a dog up for adoption.
5 comments:
Amen mah brothah!
Preach It!
I may hate her, but Sarah Palin is pretty bangin'.
But not as bangin' as Raining Sideways!
Spelunker? I hardly know her!
Well, now that our game is cancelled, I hope this does not mean that Palin's debate with Biden will end up being cancelled tomorrow night. I need a good laugh after such tragedy occuring tonight.
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